Author Topic: Cyber-bullying: Share your experiences, ask for advice, make new friends.  (Read 1833 times)

eagle

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Hi folks,

 I have run across some pretty interesting articles on the net about adult cyber-bullying.
I thought I would post some of them there.

 If any of you have encountered these kinds of nasty people or experienced any form of on-line bullying...
let's talk about it, discuss solutions, ask for support and post helpful articles.

 Many of these bullies and trolls on the Internet rely heavily on the tactics of isolating their victim,
grouping together with like-minded abusers in innocent looking chat rooms and then preying on a
victim's lack of knowledge and experience with this kind of emotional violence.

 Awareness is protection. Let's get involved. Let's end this.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-online-secrets/201409/internet-trolls-are-narcissists-psychopaths-and-sadists

http://www.overcomebullying.org/cyberbullying.html



Godfather

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I'll read those in a minute but my best advice to anyone who is being trolled or cyber bullied is to ignore them.  Sociopaths get bored in a hurry if they aren't getting a response from the victim.  People have tried to do it to me from time to time I just wait carefully for the correct time, because it will come, and I make them look like a complete fool in front of everyone.  If I see someone cyber bullying someone I go right for the bullies throat. If they focus on me, someone who truly does not care, and leave the victim alone I call that a win. 


Lasha

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I'll read those in a minute but my best advice to anyone who is being trolled or cyber bullied is to ignore them.  Sociopaths get bored in a hurry if they aren't getting a response from the victim.  People have tried to do it to me from time to time I just wait carefully for the correct time, because it will come, and I make them look like a complete fool in front of everyone.  If I see someone cyber bullying someone I go right for the bullies throat. If they focus on me, someone who truly does not care, and leave the victim alone I call that a win.

Oh Mr. G....I sure like your style. We have to look out for each other out there.

Godfather

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Oh Mr. G....I sure like your style. We have to look out for each other out there.

:D  There was a guy a few years back that was a troll and a bully on another forum I used to frequent. He'd go after anybody he thought he could.  His mistake was he had plenty of pictures of himself and, while I'm not an expert, I can usually edit a pic well enough to get the point across.  So, for a month, every time he started in on someone BOOM another picture of him in an embarrassing situation.  He canceled his account and went away with his tail tucked between his legs :)

Okay all of that said the author of the second post makes a valid point. You have to be damn careful with your identity online these days.  I ran into a troll who was smarter than the average bear and, since I have my own domain, it's not hard to run to register.com etc to find out my name, phone number, address, etc.  Once you have someones name you can check Linkedin to see if they're on there.  From that you can find out where they work, where they've worked, gone to school and so on and, since Linkedin is a source for a lot of people including myself to look for job or sales opportunities it's important that your data is accurate.  That particular troll did a number on me but taught me a valuable lesson.  Those holes in my identity have since been plugged and, the funny thing is, me and that guy are friendly now and he's quit being such a jerk to everyone. 

If anybody out there needs some tips on how to protect your identity online feel free to let me know.  Between my stalker of an ex and the guy who trolled me I've learned a lot of hard but valuable lessons.

Lasha

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Oh Mr. G....I sure like your style. We have to look out for each other out there.

:D  There was a guy a few years back that was a troll and a bully on another forum I used to frequent. He'd go after anybody he thought he could.  His mistake was he had plenty of pictures of himself and, while I'm not an expert, I can usually edit a pic well enough to get the point across.  So, for a month, every time he started in on someone BOOM another picture of him in an embarrassing situation.  He canceled his account and went away with his tail tucked between his legs :)

Okay all of that said the author of the second post makes a valid point. You have to be damn careful with your identity online these days.  I ran into a troll who was smarter than the average bear and, since I have my own domain, it's not hard to run to register.com etc to find out my name, phone number, address, etc.  Once you have someones name you can check Linkedin to see if they're on there.  From that you can find out where they work, where they've worked, gone to school and so on and, since Linkedin is a source for a lot of people including myself to look for job or sales opportunities it's important that your data is accurate.  That particular troll did a number on me but taught me a valuable lesson.  Those holes in my identity have since been plugged and, the funny thing is, me and that guy are friendly now and he's quit being such a jerk to everyone. 

If anybody out there needs some tips on how to protect your identity online feel free to let me know.  Between my stalker of an ex and the guy who trolled me I've learned a lot of hard but valuable lessons.


Wow....That's some great info. Very helpful Godfather. I really appreciate your approach too.

I had horrible problems with trolls on another forum site. Briefly I had participated in an on air radio show with a member from that forum and when it became very obvious that she was not....shall we say...a very pleasant person, I sent her a nice email, wished her luck and left the show.

Well....she made it her personal mission to have me ridiculed, attacked and severely trolled on that forum because it turned out she could not handle the show on her own. She pm-ed lots of people, I later found out, behind-the-scenes and demanded that they 'pick sides' against me. She spend a great deal of effort wrangling all the trolls on that site to attack me, stalk me and make my life miserable. She revealed extremely private information to everyone about my childhood and about my life (all of which I had told her in strictest confidence) and they all used it to relentlessly attack me....and in really horrible, psychologically sadistic ways. And she organized it all and manipulated all my friends on that forum against me. (One person even sent me a private message on 'the best way to tie up and rape an infant'). It was horrible. And you know, looking back on it all...I think she was just a very sick, jealous person and, in actuality, was trying to 'get rid of the competition'. Makes no sense to me, but I think that is how her strange little mind works.

Anyway, that was what influenced me to start this forum....a welcoming place where emotional violence and sick behavior is not tolerated. And I will make sure it stays that way. I may need to be quite vigilant about it too, as some of the real low life trolls from that forum have hinted that they may try to come here with fake names and cause trouble. Yeah, charming, eh?

Not on my watch. Not in my house. Ain't going to happen.







Godfather

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Wow Lasha I see we've been through some similar times. 

People who act that way haven't made it past grade school mentally.  I've done some studying on what causes people to troll and the most germane article that I've read is that they are, at least to a small degree, sociopaths. 

My ex found me after I had completely changed my identity on the web.  When Julie and I let everyone on our social media sites that we were an item the attacks started.  She went so far as to contact Julies family through texts, emails, etc, trying to bash me and causing Julie a lot of heartache.  And she still tries but I've taught Julie how to ignore that nonsense and get on with the business of living life and not worrying about rude sadistic people.  They live in their own hell that they create for themselves.

Now having modded and admined on a couple of sites I understand the effort you have to make to keep things civil and polite.  It's a delicate balancing act and I know one that I'll show you in private that I think is the best moderated site on the web.  All of that said I like it here and like to keep up with the goings on with Art and Heather. Trolls show up I'll let you know.  I have kind of a zero tolerance for rude people with keyboard courage. 

Lasha

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Wow Lasha I see we've been through some similar times. 

People who act that way haven't made it past grade school mentally.  I've done some studying on what causes people to troll and the most germane article that I've read is that they are, at least to a small degree, sociopaths. 

My ex found me after I had completely changed my identity on the web.  When Julie and I let everyone on our social media sites that we were an item the attacks started.  She went so far as to contact Julies family through texts, emails, etc, trying to bash me and causing Julie a lot of heartache.  And she still tries but I've taught Julie how to ignore that nonsense and get on with the business of living life and not worrying about rude sadistic people.  They live in their own hell that they create for themselves.

Now having modded and admined on a couple of sites I understand the effort you have to make to keep things civil and polite.  It's a delicate balancing act and I know one that I'll show you in private that I think is the best moderated site on the web.  All of that said I like it here and like to keep up with the goings on with Art and Heather. Trolls show up I'll let you know.  I have kind of a zero tolerance for rude people with keyboard courage.


Oh I so agree, Mr. G. These people are definitely dealing with some form of mental illness. And they have no insight into it, either. Sad, really.

I read an article in Psychology Today about some of the tests they have done on these types of trolls and, yes, they have discovered that they really do have sadistic, psychopathic and strongly antisocial personality traits. And they tend to hang out on the net in groups, sort of to protect one another, and wait for unsuspecting victims to spew their emotional violence toward.

It's really quite creepy. These types of people, however, tend to get to a certain age in life and then they start to deteriorate and their personalities fracture, spiral out of control or unravel. Or they just stroke out. Usually their families and/or the authorities at some point have to intervene with them... but, unfortunately, usually not before they have done great damage to everyone they meet.






Godfather

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Wow Lasha I see we've been through some similar times. 

People who act that way haven't made it past grade school mentally.  I've done some studying on what causes people to troll and the most germane article that I've read is that they are, at least to a small degree, sociopaths. 

My ex found me after I had completely changed my identity on the web.  When Julie and I let everyone on our social media sites that we were an item the attacks started.  She went so far as to contact Julies family through texts, emails, etc, trying to bash me and causing Julie a lot of heartache.  And she still tries but I've taught Julie how to ignore that nonsense and get on with the business of living life and not worrying about rude sadistic people.  They live in their own hell that they create for themselves.

Now having modded and admined on a couple of sites I understand the effort you have to make to keep things civil and polite.  It's a delicate balancing act and I know one that I'll show you in private that I think is the best moderated site on the web.  All of that said I like it here and like to keep up with the goings on with Art and Heather. Trolls show up I'll let you know.  I have kind of a zero tolerance for rude people with keyboard courage.


Oh I so agree, Mr. G. These people are definitely dealing with some form of mental illness. And they have no insight into it, either. Sad, really.

I read an article in Psychology Today about some of the tests they have done on these types of trolls and, yes, they have discovered that they really do have sadistic, psychopathic and strongly antisocial personality traits. And they tend to hang out on the net in groups, sort of to protect one another, and wait for unsuspecting victims to spew their emotional violence toward.

It's really quite creepy. These types of people, however, tend to get to a certain age in life and then they start to deteriorate and their personalities fracture, spiral out of control or unravel. Or they just stroke out. Usually their families and/or the authorities at some point have to intervene with them... but, unfortunately, usually not before they have done great damage to everyone they meet.

Concur.. it's sad, pathetic, and weak minded. 

You might have to kick me in the knees if I ever see it happening here Lasha.  I have zero tolerance for that unless it's directed at me.  Then I just laugh.  Mess with someone else and I get, shall we say, indignant. :)